I think you could call it the first step I've taken in living the life I always thought that I wanted to live. Not that I have any regrets about the decisions I have made in life-it's just that the choice I made was perhaps one of the choices I perpetually think about. Sorry if you think I'm about to reveal some life-shattering revelation about sex or drugs or miscellaneous delinquencies-all I did was buy Tim O' Brien's The Things They Carried.
Now, the choice that I perpetually think about is not the choice that I made to buy the book, although I must admit that it was a mind-boggling decision all the same-to buy or not to buy? I can borrow the book from the library for free lor... and books are not cheap. But I bought it in the end because I realized that I wouldn't have time to read it when I get back to school. The choice was about what I wanted to study and what I wanted to do with my JC life. Sorry to bring this up again la, I know its very banal, and I hate to tread the emo-blog-entry line.
Well, The Things They Carried has been repeatedly touted to me by Xiangwei and Luke, amongst other friends. I'm currently riding on an insatiable hunger for books, and this desire for knowledge (or so I think haha) is being fuelled by an inevitable struggle to come to terms with the issue of national service. No la, I'm not absconding. Two things contributed to my obsession with national service: firstly, the fact that all my friends are fulfilling their duties and getting it over with; secondly, the fact that I was a really sucky soldier. How many times do I have to tell the wickedly humorous stories of myself being punished for a variety of often idiotic reasons? Haha. Dear mu guo Singapore has crafted, in me, a person who's ridiculously obsessed with success. And so I keep thinking about what went wrong and what (little) went right during the 6 months of national service.
They carried the common secret of cowardice barely restrained... They carried the soldier's greatest fear, which was the fear of blushing. Men killed, and died, because they were embarassed not to..
I wonder what my dear friends in AH felt when they read this book. I wonder if anyone has read the book again after entering the army. I will candidly admit that the lines above describe what I felt and what pushed me on. Seriously, nothing else would have pushed fat, unfit, out-of-shape yp into finishing that unprecedented chore of a run besides the fear of blushing. I wished that reading those lines would have invoked some sort of catharsis, but it didn't, too bad. But it's very true for me, and I don't know how true it is for everyone else. Maybe I just pai seh-ed myself for the whole wide world to see, maybe not, haha.
I went to Georgetown today to visit Juline. Georgetown is located in the west side of D.C., and it's one of the richer neighborhoods in town. Banana Republic, A&E, Zara, etc. are located there. I actually visited D.C. three years ago on that sham of a trip named GYLC, and on one of the first few days we went to Georgetown, although I don't remember that it was Georgetown. I remember eating at the food court which I saw again today-the mall hasn't changed; I remember the 2nd-hand book shop and I remember wearing my new G2000 suit, feeling very lonely (aww) and sitting down in the Starbucks I bought a coffee from today. I wrote, on a discarded sheet of paper, about how I loved the architecture of Georgetown, about how it was a nice lovely neighborhood. But today, we had kaya toast and pancakes, and it was lovely to meet Juline.
Okay time to watch Band of Brothers hahaha.
When I have my own room (or when I have my own apartment in the future), I want to have jazz posters, a stereo that pipes satellite radio through speakers wired in the ceiling, a nice coffee machine, and a mini-music studio. Not much la, haha.
Now, the choice that I perpetually think about is not the choice that I made to buy the book, although I must admit that it was a mind-boggling decision all the same-to buy or not to buy? I can borrow the book from the library for free lor... and books are not cheap. But I bought it in the end because I realized that I wouldn't have time to read it when I get back to school. The choice was about what I wanted to study and what I wanted to do with my JC life. Sorry to bring this up again la, I know its very banal, and I hate to tread the emo-blog-entry line.
Well, The Things They Carried has been repeatedly touted to me by Xiangwei and Luke, amongst other friends. I'm currently riding on an insatiable hunger for books, and this desire for knowledge (or so I think haha) is being fuelled by an inevitable struggle to come to terms with the issue of national service. No la, I'm not absconding. Two things contributed to my obsession with national service: firstly, the fact that all my friends are fulfilling their duties and getting it over with; secondly, the fact that I was a really sucky soldier. How many times do I have to tell the wickedly humorous stories of myself being punished for a variety of often idiotic reasons? Haha. Dear mu guo Singapore has crafted, in me, a person who's ridiculously obsessed with success. And so I keep thinking about what went wrong and what (little) went right during the 6 months of national service.
They carried the common secret of cowardice barely restrained... They carried the soldier's greatest fear, which was the fear of blushing. Men killed, and died, because they were embarassed not to..
I wonder what my dear friends in AH felt when they read this book. I wonder if anyone has read the book again after entering the army. I will candidly admit that the lines above describe what I felt and what pushed me on. Seriously, nothing else would have pushed fat, unfit, out-of-shape yp into finishing that unprecedented chore of a run besides the fear of blushing. I wished that reading those lines would have invoked some sort of catharsis, but it didn't, too bad. But it's very true for me, and I don't know how true it is for everyone else. Maybe I just pai seh-ed myself for the whole wide world to see, maybe not, haha.
I went to Georgetown today to visit Juline. Georgetown is located in the west side of D.C., and it's one of the richer neighborhoods in town. Banana Republic, A&E, Zara, etc. are located there. I actually visited D.C. three years ago on that sham of a trip named GYLC, and on one of the first few days we went to Georgetown, although I don't remember that it was Georgetown. I remember eating at the food court which I saw again today-the mall hasn't changed; I remember the 2nd-hand book shop and I remember wearing my new G2000 suit, feeling very lonely (aww) and sitting down in the Starbucks I bought a coffee from today. I wrote, on a discarded sheet of paper, about how I loved the architecture of Georgetown, about how it was a nice lovely neighborhood. But today, we had kaya toast and pancakes, and it was lovely to meet Juline.
Okay time to watch Band of Brothers hahaha.
When I have my own room (or when I have my own apartment in the future), I want to have jazz posters, a stereo that pipes satellite radio through speakers wired in the ceiling, a nice coffee machine, and a mini-music studio. Not much la, haha.
posted by whypee | 11:10 AM
1 Comments:
If you don't mind science fiction, you should check out Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. Really shows quite a lot about going through army and being GEP, even in its futuristic setting.
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